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Two Years

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Two years ago today, my world felt like it stopped spinning. It was the day I heard, "I'm so sorry. There's no heartbeat," and I felt like my own heart was going to stop beating. Two years have passed now since I lost my first baby, and it still feels like it was just yesterday. I remember the first words out of my mouth when the ultrasound tech told me: "It's OK. I guess these things happen sometimes." It still baffles me that I couldn't really comprehend what she was saying at first, and that my first instinct upon finding out my baby was no longer living was to try to comfort this person I didn't even know by convincing her that I was totally fine with this horrific, life-changing event. I honestly don't think that the gravity of the situation hit me until she walked out of the room so I could get dressed and I looked at my husband's face. The details that followed that day and the next day as I was admitted for a D&C are all sti